Teach Me How to Be Loved
by Geezworld234
Summary: Songfic. Sandra has realised the error of her ways when it comes to realtionships, can she be taught how to be loved?
1. What is Love?

**_This is my first attempt at a songfic I was listening to Rebecca __Ferguson's album today and I noticed two songs that really realted to Sandra in my opionin Shoulder to Shoulder and Teach Me How to me Loved._**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own New Tricks or these wonderful songs_**

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_Cos I feel safe when you're near me and I can hold you completely_

_Though you constantly hurt me _

_And we fight and we cry _

_And we tell the same lies about Love_

_And we cling to each other shoulder to shoulder against the world. _

Sandra wiped away the tears that were flowing from face with her left hand as she aggressively turned right with her free hand. It was pitch black and she appeared to be the only other driver on the road.

The more her heart raced from the adrenaline of her fight with Peter the faster she drove. The more she thought about how much the married man with 2.5 children had promised her the world and not delivered made her swerve out on the other side of the road.

It wasn't that she didn't love him, they had rowed about that how Sandra had not told him once she loved him but didn't mind the fact he claimed he would give everything up for her it was the fact that this disastrous relationship cycle had been all she knew, she never knew how to show love or how to be loved.

That annoyed Peter the fact he openly showed his alleged love for her and when he asked her if she loved him back she would just nod. Both of them knowing that this wasn't necessary true.

_So I'm gonna drag you down_

_Whilst you drag me down_

_And I'm gonna shout at you_

_Whilst you shout at me until we realise that real love is free, free_

It was always the same with the men Sandra dated there was nothing solid there, they would make love in the middle of Lunch when they were out of the office and when there was no danger of being caught by his wife or worse his kids. Then they would fight about how their relationship was just sex and nothing more. Sandra always accused them of using her but when she fought with Peter about it he shouted back that she used him as she didn't know how to love. He was right, this wasn't love it never was with Sandra.

Back home Sandra snatched a bottle of dry white wine out of the fridge poured it into a glass so it was almost over flowing and thought back to what Peter had said, there was no way she could love somebody if she didn't know how to be loved herself. She noticed throughout her life whenever a guy would give her a romantic gesture of some kind she never knew how to take it, she always suspected they were after something and never that they just cared.

As a child she adored her father and had fond feelings towards her mother, even more so when her dad was alive but she never knew if it was love she felt towards her parents. Maybe that's where she needed to start; she needed to learn how to be loved.

_The fallen empires, The shattered glass_

_The wicked echos of my past._

_I've seen it all before, that's why I'm asking._

_Will you still be here tomorrow or will you leave in the dead of the night?_

_So your waves don't crash around me, I'm staying one step ahead of the tide._

_Will you leave me lost in my shadows or will you pull me into your light?_

_Teach me how to be loved_

_Teach me how to be loved._

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**_Hope it was okay feel free to review, love Gee :) xx_**


	2. No More

Five O'clock Friday evening and Sandra didn't fancy going home this early knowing that she would be stuck there until Monday morning when she would return to work, which dominated her life. Well that was what Peter had said about her work, that was the true love of her life and nothing could compare.

Sandra always knew work took priority over relationships, Gerry was forever telling her about her unhealthy balance of work and free time but she put it down to the fact that she hadn't met the right person yet.

She looked at her phone 3 missed calls and two texts; she knew exactly who they were from which was why she left her phone on silent all day. Luckily one of the messages was from her network provider to say she had 3 voice messages. She checked them, they were all the same Peter claiming he could change, she was the one he wanted not his wife, his voice pleaded with Sandra's phone to give her another chance, he swore that he would leave his family to start a new life with her, so long as she proved to him she felt the same way.

"Sandra I'm worried about you, I've not heard from you since, well since you walked out, please just let me know you're okay, I need you, god I don't deserve you".

"Yeah too right mate" she scoffed ringing off as she couldn't bear to hear any more of this drivel.

And I get a kick when you worry that you are just no good for me

And I feel weak watching you plead

And we fight and we cry

And we tell the same lies about Love

And we cling to each other shoulder to shoulder against this world.

This time Sandra wasn't going back to him, she wasn't even going to collect the stuff she left at their 'love nest' a two bed swanky flat in Greenwich that he bought to impress her, which it did at first the lavish gift, the extravagant dinners and expensive wine and flowers.

I got caught up in a daze

Of the wine and roses

Such a sweet escape

But I watched it all slip away

Like running water from my hands

Raining on this picture land

She knew from the start it was his way of showing off, his way of wanting to feel depended on as his wife clearly didn't depend on him or so he told Sandra. Sandra never depended on him really but this lifestyle was a way of escaping the sometimes hard and devastating things she dealt with at work, and at first it did make her feel special. Until it clicked that he was plying her with gifts in exchange for sex as he wasn't getting any at home. She might not have known much about love but it sure wasn't that, why would he leave his wife of ten years who cooks for him, cleans and waits on him hand and foot for an independent career woman who didn't do those things for herself let alone a bloke. No Peter wanted the best of both worlds and this time Sandra wasn't going to let him.

She stepped out of the office she needed real company from the people who cared about her the most, her best friends, her boys.

"Right pub" she said clapping her hands together.

"You all go, I don't really feel up to it, just want to put my feet up with a nice cup of cocoa" Jack said.

"Brian"

"Nah Esther and I are going round to Mark's for tea, she will kill me if I'm late" he replied, crushing Sandra that little bit more.

"Gerry, you'll come won't you, I cannot go home yet and besides I don't know about you but I need a drink". She looked at him with desperate eyes, she needed some company from someone who could make her life, who would ask her if she's having bloke trouble and then tell her to get over it while he knocked his living daylights out.

"Yeah, you know me Guv'nor I would never turn down a free drink"

"Okay I'll buy the first round and you buy the rest, deal" she was feeling a bit better already.

One foot onto the ice

I hold my breath

And try to believe

Can I look at you with different eyes?

Like the girl that I was, when I was 17.

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_**Hope it's still okay! :)**_


	3. Teach Me how to be Loved

Gerry noticed Sandra was nursing her drink very attentively.

"I've not put poison in it ya know" he said striking conversation.

"What, yeah I know, sorry Gerry I don't really fancy it now we are here" Sandra Pullman admitted.

"It's okay Guv, no worries" Sandra could tell by the tone of his voice that Gerry Standing was trying not to make it obvious he was worried about her.

"I'm not very good company tonight I'm afraid" she said taking a small sip of her wine.

"I did happen to notice you haven't been yourself for the past week or so, Sandra are you okay" boy, he must be worried he called her Sandra he only ever did that if she did something he didn't like or he was worried sick about her.

"I'll live" she said smiling a little to try and mask her hurt.

"Bloke trouble?" he inquired. She didn't answer but nodded.

"Well whoever he is and whatever he's done he does not deserve you" she said stroking her hand slightly and smiling hoping to reassure his Guv'nor and close friend.

"Cheers Gerry, but I think it's more of what I did".

"Oh, I'm sure it wasn't completely your fault".

"Maybe not, but you know me Gerry useless at the whole relationship thing".

"Neither am I, three failed marriages and all that" he said downing the last of his bitter.

As he said this Sandra's phone alerted her of yet another new text message Gerry managed to just about see it was from Peter before Sandra flipped her phone over so the screen was face down on the table.

Noticing Sandra wasn't really comfortable with being in a crowded public place he jumped up, took his coat from the back of the wooden chair and said "I don't know about you but I fancy a nice little walk, clear me head, you coming?"

"Go on then" she said almost smiling as she pushed her almost full wine glass to the middle of the table to discard it. She thought the fresh air would do her good, give her chance to think things over.

When they got outside it was almost dusk as the winter evenings had crept in they walked in silence for a good while until their second lap of the heath when Sandra blurted out "how do you do it Gerry, how to learn how to love and how to be loved".

He stood stock still, dead in his tracks he had no idea how to answer that, he didn't really see an answer it was one of those things that just was, like the grass being green and the sea being blue. Besides he didn't really see himself as the right person to answer his question as his track record was not great.

"What's made you ask this all of a sudden?"

Sandra bit her lip embarrassed and reluctant to tell him the truth until she realised she was the one that brought it up. Pulling him over towards the bench she sat down and he copied.

"I was thinking about it the other day, it's something I have never understood, love I mean how do people know about it because I clearly don't."

"I don't think anyone really understands it, they make it up as they go along, or at least that's what I do" Sandra smiled, for once he spoke a lot of sense well she knew he would in this department it's the only thing she thought she could confide in him about.

"But surely to love someone you have to have been loved yourself, I don't know how to be loved" she sighed worried Gerry would laugh her out of Hampstead Heath.

"That's easy, seen as you have been, I mean ARE loved" he locked his eyes on hers knowing that this delicate and until now secretive subject needed her full attention.

"Who by, I really don't feel loved at all, I don't think I ever had" this confession broke Gerry's heart in two.

"Well you dad, your mum-"Sandra laughed at this "This geezer who you've been seeing I bet"

"He only loved himself and as for my mother" she said cutting him off.

She shivered the cold air was taking its toll on Sandra who wasn't as well equipped as Gerry for the cold weather; it must have been an age thing she thought as he was in a thick winter coat and she was just wearing a short-sleeved V-neck top. As she rubbed her arms in attempting to warm herself up Gerry moved in closer to try and pass on his body heat. With one hand he took off his jacket and with the other he placed it around her shoulders.

It was her turn to lock her eyes on his, beautiful bright blue on blue.

"Sandra does it really need saying" if anyone had asked him thought Sandra Pullman really knew just how deep his feelings went for her, Lord knows Brain and Jack did.

"Does what really need saying Gerry?"

"How I feel about you"

"Well how do you feel about me?"

There was an awkward silence that lasted on a minute as Gerry mentally planned exactly what he was going to say next.

"I adore you Sandra" he took her hands, they were red with cold and felt like ice "In fact I would even go as far as to say I love you".

His cheeks matched the colour of Sandra's hands. Neither of them had no idea what to say or do next.

Sandra looked as if she was about to well up but the dark could be deceiving.

"Gerry, you're not just saying this are you?"

"Of course not, I swear to you Sandra, I have felt like this for a long while now and never known if I should say something"

"Oh Gerry, I don't know what to say" she was a little embarrassed as she felt like she should confess to feeling the same way but like she had already told him earlier that evening she didn't know what love felt liked.

"You don't have to say anything, you said you wanted to learn how to be loved, Sandra let me be the one to teach you, I promise I will show you what real love is"

Can I give myself just one more second chance?

And put my trust in love,

Please don't hurt me.

If I make myself like a feather in your hand

And put my trust in love,

Please don't hurt me.


	4. Love?

She nodded and whispered the words "thank you" before shivering more violently than before making her pull the arms of Gerry's coat tighter around her body.

"Let's get you home, you're going to catch your death".

Sandra smiled, until now she never really felt that anyone one had really cared about her wellbeing before.

They completely forgot about their cars that were still in the pub car park as they walked home still reeling from Gerry's confession, it wasn't that far to Sandra's anyway and as they moved Sandra warmed up a little.

Back at hers Sandra felt up to a glass of wine now she poured herself and Gerry a glass, handing Gerry his he took both glassed and put them down on the counter. He lifted her chin up slightly with his thumb and with the back of his other hand he moved her fly-away hair which had been caused by their walk away from her face. They both smiled as Gerry moved in closer his lips gently pressing onto hers, he whispered her name into her mouth knowing how right it felt, he sensed she felt it too as she kissed him back rather passionately.

For the first time Sandra Pullman sensed and electric like energy pass from Gerry to her, her heart double jumped as her stomach fluttered. She has never felt this strange sensation before but she knew she could get used to it maybe this was what Gerry meant when he said people made it up as they went along. Maybe this strange sensation was the start of that crazy little thing called 'love' that everyone raved about.

_So I'm not going pull you down_

_Whilst you pull me down_

_And I'm not going to shout at you_

_Whilst you shout at me because I've realised that real love is free_

_Let's leave it alone_

_We can work it_

_Find our way_

_Forget the past_

_Cos I love you and you love me_

_So let's leave it alone_

_We can work it_

_Find our way_

_Forget the past_

_Cos I love you and you love me_

_So let's crawl free_

They clung shoulder to shoulder for a while, Sandra felt safe like this she never thought she would ever have found out how to be loved or even what love was but now she knew what she felt might not have been love yet but it was special.

Taking Gerry's hand she took him in the direction of her bedroom, signalling that she was ready for someone who cared about her to take proper care of her now and hopefully forever.

Later that evening she watched Gerry Standing fall asleep in her bed next to her with his arms tightly wrapped around her, she smiled to herself who would have thought he would be the one to teach her a thing or two about relationships.

_Will you still be here tomorrow_

_Or will you leave in the dead of the night?_

_So your waves don't crash around me,_

_I'm staying one step ahead of the tide._

_Will you leave me lost in my shadows_

_Or will you pull me into your light?_

_Teach me how to be loved_

_Teach me how to be loved._

Sandra Pullman hoped that this time she knew the answer.

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_**The End! :) I hope it was alright! Feel free to review!**_

_**This story is for my brilliant friend Bethyboo97 I hope you are feeling better my dear or at least this little story helped a bit! :)**_

_**It is also dedicated to those who of us who love the Sherry paring as we all know it maks sesne! (my Team Sherry crew you know who you are)**_

_**Love Gee :) xxx**_


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